Motherhood vs Rock Concert Road Trips
So how did I go from being Ms. Independent to becoming a mom? Well, at 28 I got married to my long-term boyfriend, who is a musician of course, and people in our circle of friends were beginning to have kids. Also, I’m an only child, and now that my parents are aging, I think I’d be very lonely if my husband died before me. Even though I enjoyed being selfish by doing what I wanted when I wanted, somehow my opinion changed and I started to think that maybe I did want a child or 2, although I guess you can say that my reasons for wanting a kid were selfish also, now that I think about it. I’ll also blame that on being an only child.
As things tend to go in this crazy place we call life, nature had a different plan for me. I did get pregnant soon after “trying,” but had a miscarriage almost immediately after finding out I was pregnant. I was devestated and learned a lot about myself. Specifically, I was shocked about how destraught I was over it for someone who “didn’t really care if she had kids or not.” That experience made me realize that I DID want children, even if it meant I may have to curb my concert road trips a little bit once I had a child. (I was averaging about 30-40 concerts a year.) During that time I went to quite a few shows to help me get some enjoyment back mentally. It’s crazy how songs you’ve known for years suddenly take on new meanings when something powerful happens in your life. Songs that you used to think were about love & loss of some guy/girl you dated, now were about death. The lyric, “how come we hurt the ones we need” got transformed into some kind of song about the body’s natural way of screwing you over by taking what you wanted and putting you into a depression.
I totally respect artists who don’t like to share their own personal meaning of what their songs are about because they don’t want it to take away from someone else’s interpretation of what it means to them. Besides, half the fun of listening to a musician’s mysteriously dark lyrics is trying to figure out what happened to him and what influenced those lines.
Tags: baby, child, children, concert, lyric, miscarriage, mom, motherhood, music, road-trip, rock