The time had come for my follow-up appointment at the ultrasound place to get a second look at the baby’s heart, since they couldn’t get good pictures last time due to the baby’s curled up position. I was happy I’d at least get to see another picture of my baby and hopefully get a confirmation that the baby is indeed a girl–especially because everyone said it looked like I was having a boy since I was carrying so small and in front. I have to admit, I looked pretty good pregnant. No one could even tell I was pregnant unless I turned so they could see my profile. I was still hitting the gym 3 times a week, but just doing mild exercises.

I was now 7 1/2 months pregnant, and at the appointment I saw that the baby had grown a lot since the 20 week ultrasound. In fact you couldn’t even see the baby that well anymore because whereas before you could see the entire profile of the baby’s body, now you can only see certain parts of the baby very close up. I asked the tech if the baby still looks like a girl, and she said yes, so that made me feel a lot better since a lot of people got me “girl” clothes. This is the same tech I had for the past 3 visits, and I really like her a lot.  She got the heart pictures she needed, and I asked what certain pictures on the monitor were of, because I sure couldn’t tell (being that they were zoomed in so close). She then zoomed in on the face and switched the machine from 3D to 4D and WOW..there was my baby! It was wild how clear (and freaky) the 4D pictures were. She printed them out for me and told me not to tell anyone since they’re not supposed to use the 4D feature. I know that some people pay big money for 4D ultrasounds, so I thought it was really nice of her to do that for me as a courtesy. When I got a chance to really look at the 4D pictures I got a little nervous. The baby looked weird! The tech explained that shadows occur on the pictures which can distort things, but man, I was getting scared that my baby was going to look like an alien. The nose looked huge, the chin looked too small and almost like the jaw was missing…I was beginning to regret seeing these pictures at all! In the back of my mind I tried to reassure myself that the tech and doctors never said anything about the baby missing her chin or anything, so I guess everything was ok, but I was still a little nervous. Great; another thing that made me feel like a bad mom already: being worried about my baby’s appearance. Isn’t there ever a time when a woman can just relax during pregnancy and not be paranoid about something?

The biggest shock of all during the ultrasound was when the tech told me that the baby was currently in a breech position. Even though she was head down (vertex) about 10 weeks earlier, she was now breech. She said not to worry since there is still time for her to turn, but that I may want to consider different delivery options with my doctor. Oh no, add another thing to worry about during this pregnancy. To make matters worse, I had just sealed in my mind that I was going to have an all-natural labor. If the baby didn’t turn by my delivery, I would have to have a C-section, which I did NOT want. It was time to do what I do best: research like crazy for answers and try to turn this baby around!

My husband and I began taking Childbirth Preparation classes, aka Lamaze, which were once a week for 4 weeks. I didn’t know much about what to expect from labor except for pain, so I felt this class was pretty important to educate myself so that I’d be better prepared. On the first day of class they asked how many of us wanted a natural, drug-free, labor- I didn’t raise my hand. I didn’t know what I wanted at the time and that was part of the reason I took the class. The first class involved a lot of physical stuff like stretching and the breathing exercises that you see all the time. They also showed us different labor positions you could do, some of which are better for back pain, to speed up labor, to slow down labor, to turn a baby, etc. The second class was about our expectations about childbirth. We had to play this game, kind of like the Newleywed Game, where you see how you and the baby’s dad’s answers matched up.  One of the questions asked what would be the first song that mom sings to the baby. My husband got this correct- “Dizzy” by Ours. It’s not a baby-related song at all, depressing actually, but the music from it kind of sounds like a lullaby. Another question asked how long mom would be in labor. My husband said Two Hours. The instructors cracked up. Oh, did he have a lot to learn! 

 The class also started to talk about the different medications that are used for pain relief, inductions, and emergencies. THIS was an eye-opening class for me. I had no idea all the side effects that these drugs could cause, and how they can affect the baby during the process. I was especially concerned about the ever-so-popular labor inducing drug, Pitocin, or as I like to call it, “the Devil drug.”  I personally know at least 4 women who have been induced, only to wind up needing a C-section because of the baby’s heart rate dropping from the drug. No thank you. If I could control or prevent the chance of something bad happening to the baby, you bet I would do everything in my power to prevent it. By the time the class was over, I was convinced that I was going to have a Natural Labor. No epidural, no pain relief drugs, just breathing, meditating, focusing, and of course music. My friends laughed at me, my family didn’t understand me, and they both didn’t believe me. I’m a very headstrong person, so the fact that I felt like I was being mocked made me even more determined to have a natural birth. Who are these people to judge me? Who are they to say I can’t take the pain? I have always had a very high pain tolerance. I think it may have happened from years of dealing with severe migraines since I was 14. They would be horrible and I couldn’t open my eyes or walk when I had one, but eventually I got to the point where I hated having to depend on medicine to make me feel better, so I just stopped taking them. It was agonizing, but it made me feel like a stronger person. This is horrible, but I think it made me also start to view people who needed pain medicine as “weak,”  and this now included needing drugs for childbirth. So people laughing in my face and telling me there was no way I could go drug-free during labor pissed me off royally. Game’s on.

It was time to get the anatomical ultrasound where they check to see if everything looks ok so far, and to see if they can tell the sex of the baby. I definitely wanted to find out what I was having. When I was in college I used to think that IF I were to have kids, I’d want a boy. But now I wanted a girl more. I’m not sure why; I think I could just envision a little girl running around my house more than a little boy. Like most men, my husband seemed to want a boy more. He’s the total “anti-jock,” so it wasn’t about sports or anything. He pictured teaching his little boy how to play guitar, computer stuff, and other random things. But I just FELT like I was carrying a girl and I told him this to prepare him, just in case I was right.

The appointment day came. I was actually pretty nervous about the test because I wanted to make sure everything was ok, so I wasn’t really thinking about the baby’s sex that much.  Plus, I didn’t have too much faith in the results being correct anyway. I have a friend who had multiple ultrasounds and they all told her she was having a girl. So EVERYTHING was pink at her baby shower- bassinet, clothes, quilts, etc. Delivery day came and out came a boy! She was doing returns for months after that. So I went into the ultrasound thinking that if they say “boy,” then I’m having a boy. If they say “girl,” then I’m having a girl or boy. During my ultrasound everything looked good and the baby was in a head-down position, so I was very relieved. After you have a miscarriage and after trying for so long to get pregnant you tend to get a little paranoid about everything. I was like this my whole pregnancy. In fact, I didn’t tell any of my family I was pregnant until I was almost 4 months along, just in case something went wrong. I didn’t tell my job until I was 5 months pregnant (I was barely showing so I got away with it).

Now that the anatomy stuff was out of the way, it was time to find out the baby’s sex. The technician said my baby was in a curled position so she couldn’t get a good view. She kept jiggling my belly around, had me turn to my side, etc. Finally she said, “Girl!”  I looked at my husband and laughed. Could this be my first case of “mother’s intuition?”  Maybe! I asked the tech how sure she was that it was a girl. She explained that there were 3 dots, and that means it’s a girl. I still was hesitant though, so when I told my friends/family that I was having a girl, I told them that I would prefer gender-neutral items because the baby’s position wasn’t ideal. (Did I get neutral items at my shower a few months later? Nope. No one listened and gave me dresses, pinks, etc). When I went to my next doctor’s appointment, they went over the ultrasound results with me in more detail. The doctor said that the ultrasound place recommends a follow up scan in a month because they couldn’t get good pictures of the baby’s heart, due to the baby’s position. I immediately got really nervous, but the doctor told me it’s only because of the position so they just want to double check. Since my insurance was going to cover it, I made the appointment for a month later and tried to relax and focus on the fact that at least I’ll get a 2nd opinion on the baby’s sex!