A week ago it was 74 degrees here in NJ in the middle of March, so to celebrate the unseasonably warm weather, we decided to bring The Diva to the beach for the first time. People seem surprised when I tell them that I haven’t brought her to the beach yet, especially because I only live 40 minutes from a few beaches, and my mom is about 10 minutes from Seaside. Last summer when my daughter was 5 months old, she was still really unpredictable and miserable most of the time, and I was afraid to really bring her out anywhere because of it. Plus, she was nursing so often and I’m not one of those women that feels comfortable doing it in public. I know they sell covers and stuff, but with my clumsiness and her fussiness, it would have winded up on the ground anyway. So that’s why it took me so long to bring her. We went to the beach at Belmar since it’s the closest, and we first took her on the playground that’s on the beach. When we first sat her on the sand, she looked confused, and then almost irritated when she touched the sand with her hand. She gave me this look like, “What the F?” But then I picked up some sand in my hand and she watched as I released it and let it fall to the ground. She was soon doing the same, and started squealing and kicking her feet. The best part about this playground is the swings. They have some adult swings along with baby swings, so there’s nothing more relaxing than swinging on a swing while looking out at the ocean. It was beautiful and I felt very carefree for once.

After the playground we went and sat down on the beach, closer to the water, and she immediately looked over at the loud noise that the ocean waves were making. She looked for a few seconds, but then she quickly went back to picking up handfuls of sand and clapping at the same time. This would make the sand fly in her face, but she didn’t seem to mind. We had some lunch, and she decided to grab a handful of sand and put it right in her mouth. I thought she would be really grossed out by the texture, but she didn’t seem too bothered by it. I think I was more disgusted than she was. Good thing I brought plenty of bottled water. The ocean water was too cold to put her feet in, but we stood at the shore line while I held her and pointed out the waves. She smiled and clapped her hands. It will be nice when it’s warmer and she’s able to walk on her own so that we can really enjoy it (she’s currently still creeping). Next time I plan on going to Seaside since my mom is right there anyway. Now I just have to wait until it become 80 degrees!

Lately I’ve been going through major music/concert withdrawal. One of my best friends who moved away temporarily, will be going to a Jimmy Gnecco show next week in Austin, Texas and I wish I was with her. I’m dying for some live Jimmy right now. I’ve read his most recent diary post on his website (www.jimmygnecco.com) and he said he’s been dealing with a lot of stuff recently, and listed one of those items as his mom passing away. I knew about it already, but him saying it out loud made me think of how I’ve been really thinking about my dad a lot lately also. I really wish he could have seen my daughter (”The Diva”) crawl, cruise, & babble away like she does now. Both my dad and Jimmy’s mom died from lung cancer in November 2009. He did a benefit show awhile back to raise money for her health bills, and at a show before that, we talked a little about dealing with seeing our parents with cancer, and how much is sucks. Anyway, all that makes me feel closer to his music right now, so I’ve been listening to a lot of his solo music and Ours. I also have been addicted to a song from Lukas Rossi’s “Unreleased Demos” album, “Wherever You’re Going.” That song hits me like a brick wall and feels like he wrote it through my eyes, or hand rather. It deals with cancer, so don’t listen to it unless you want to bawl or are into that sort of thing. I’m drawn to dark, depressing stuff, so I love it. I’d love to know who inspired that song for him.

I can’t believe my daughter is already 13 months old. Craziness. At 12 months she started cruising, and can now walk “along the wall” by pressing up against it, kind of like a cop in a movie who goes outside the window of a 20-story building to try and talk a “jumper” out of jumping. You know how he presses against the wall for dear life? Yeah, that’s what she does. As for feeding, I was nursing her 3x a day, and planned to stop breastfeeding when she turned 12 months, but we’re a little delayed, which is fine. The trouble was that she would not drink cow’s milk. She spit it out and refused to open her mouth for the cup. Finally this week, after a suggestion from a friend, I mixed in some yogurt or Gerber Yogurt-Juice with the whole milk and now she drinks it. I’m thrilled because I was able to cut out her mid-day nursing and replace it with cow’s milk. So now I just nurse her when she wakes up, and right before bed. I hear these last 2 can be a pain to wean children from, so we’ll see how that goes. Once she’s off of breast milk/nursing for good, I can’t wait to drop her off at her grandma’s house to spend the night! Haha..does that sound horrible? I can’t imagine being able to sleep in, but it sounds wonderful. Today I was playing the piano and she cruised right over and started hitting the keys, so I put her on my lap and we played together. She lasted a good 5 minutes before she kept trying to tear down my sheet music. Oh well. She has a longer attention span for guitar. She loves to pluck the strings and she hasn’t broke any yet, so that’s a plus. I still think she’ll wind up a drummer though. It’s always hard to find a drummer, so we’d be thrilled.

My daughter’s (The Diva) first birthday party was February 13th, and I think it went well overall. The food wasn’t ready in time because my oven just didn’t feel like getting into gear, the pretzel tray we ordered was late because of a mix up at the place, and while trying to pry off the top on a Sterno, the gel spilled all over the decorative table cloth and my new jeans so I smelled like alcohol/gasoline and had to change my clothes. But besides all that drama, it went well. Haha. The important thing is my daughter was in a good mood for most of it, which is a great thing since she’s almost always moody & fussy.

I knew ahead of time that she didn’t like her birthday hat because the prior week I kept trying it on her head and she’d quickly take it off. So when it was time for the cake/singing, I had someone ready with the camera so that they could snap a picture the second I put the hat on her head. Luckily that worked and I have a few pictures of her with the hat, but it made her mad enough to start crying afterwards, so she cried while everyone sang Happy Birthday. My cousin is a very talented baker/cake decorator, and she made The Diva a small personalized birthday cake, while the rest of us had ice cream cake. I expected The Diva to do the classic “face in the cake,” but she surprised me by delicately using her finger to swipe the icing off one finger at a time. This was her first time having a lot of refined sugar because we never gave her cookies or sweets before. She loved it. (Even though the next morning she had the NASTIEST, smelliest poopy diaper I have ever seen. It was gross and huge. It was like a horse went in her diaper!)

She got a lot of clothes which is great because it’s all Spring clothes which I haven’t bought any of yet, so this is perfect. I think her favorite gift was from my cousin: the Little Tikes Pink Cozy Coupe car, and she even included a mini personalized NJ license plate. At first she screamed about being put in the car by herself, but after everyone left the party she was more calm and we attempted to put her in it again. She loved it this time and we pushed her around in it and she squealed with delight. She’s not quite ready for us to remove the floor board so she can move it Flintstone-Style, so we’re fine with just pushing her around in it.

At the end of the night, I think the party was a success, but I’m seriously considering pizza and subs next year. It was just too much work cooking & trying to time all the food, and the sternos and chafing dishes were just too much of a headache. Next year she’ll probably be old enough to have other kids at the party also, so that would be even more people, which gives me more of an incentive just to get pizza. I can’t believe she’s already 1 year old. I guess she’s not considered an infant anymore, or maybe not even a baby (Is she a toddler now)?  It really is true that the time goes by really fast, so I try to remind myself of that all the time, especially when she’s having a meltdown and I tell myself not to get too stressed about it because soon I may actually be missing her meltdown days. Even though that seems crazy to me now.

I’m an only child. I was never a spoiled only child in the sense of material things, because my parents didn’t have a lot of money. But I received a lot of love and attention and never had the issues that I hear some siblings had growing up…like fighting over who gets the front seat in the car or who gets to sit with dad on a 2-seated roller coaster. I don’t know if those are real issues to most people with siblings, but they seemed to have bothered my husband growing up since he always lost those fights to his older sister. My mom was the disciplinarian in the family while my dad was the one who made everything better, even just by letting me cry in his arms after mom yelled at me. Whenever I wanted to go to a friend’s house for the day or rent a movie, his standard comment was “Go ask your mother.” And if mom wasn’t home it was always, “Sure, that’s fine.” I had a close relationship with my father and was definitely “daddy’s little girl.”

In early 2001, when I was 24, I found out that my dad had prostate cancer, at age 60. He had his prostate removed and received a lot of radiation and chemotherapy. Being the tough blue collar guy he was, he acted like it never bothered him too much. After that it seemed to be in control. A few years later they said that a few cancer cells might still be somewhere because his count was up in his blood. My parents did a horrible job at keeping me informed on his condition and the details–I don’t know if they purposely kept it from me or if they just didn’t want to talk about it, so I never knew  the specifics on everything. Well a few years after that his legs started to swell up like crazy and he would get winded very easily. One day he actually had a seizure because his blood pressure went up too high. It turns out that the chemo destroyed his kidneys, so he had to start dialysis- 3 days a week for 5 hours a day. In retrospect, I think that out of all his different illnesses/conditions, the dialysis is what ruined his quality of life the most. He basically became tied down to a dialysis center, so he couldn’t travel easily, and my parents loved to travel. He always wanted to go on a Panama Canal Cruise, and unfortunately only a few cruise lines offer dialysis on-board, and those that do cost you double the price of a ticket, so they couldn’t afford it. It always killed me inside that he never got to go on his cruise. After a few years of being on dialysis and a ton of other symptoms, he was diagnosed with lung cancer and heart disease and needed several heart stents put in.

I realized when my dad was first diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2001, that my time was probably limited with him, so I made an effort to appreciate every moment I had, and I always hoped that he would be able to see some of my “firsts” in life. I was so thankful that he was able to see me get married and walk me down the aisle in 2006. My next wish was that he’d still be around to see me have a baby. When I got pregnant the first time and miscarried right away (this is in my earlier blog posts), I thought I had lost my chance and it made the miscarriage even harder to deal with. Almost 2 years later I finally got pregnant again and I was thankful he had at least known that I would have a baby. You have to understand that in the past 8 years, he had been in and out of the hospital non-stop, and there were quite a few times that we thought he was on death’s door in the ICU of the hospital wing, so I didn’t know if he would “make it” to see the birth of my daughter. He did make it, and he visited us in the hospital to see his only grandchild. He was a wonderful grandpa to my daughter and always talked to her, played with her, and mostly loved to just stare at her and say how beautiful she was.

In September my dad started the Hospice program, and I took my daughter to see him as much as possible. She really was his source of joy, and whenever he saw her, his face would light up and he we get a huge smile. My husband and I are Halloween fanatics and we do our house up like crazy for it, so in early October, even though he was really weak and never left the house, he wanted to come see the house, so my mom packed up the oxygen tank and he came. He couldn’t stay long, but at least he saw it. I think he just wanted to see our house one last time. On October 9th, his 68th birthday, we visited him and I bought him an ice cream cake. Surprisingly his appetite was back and he ate his piece of birthday cake. It’s the little things like that that make me smile. On November 4th I turned 32, and on November 8th my daughter turned 9 months old. We visited my dad on November 8th and even though he was in and out of consciousness from being so tired and on really strong pain medicine, he managed to laugh and smile when my daughter did the same. As we were leaving he said “thanks for everything.” The next day he passed away, exactly one month after his birthday. Later on my mom told me that before we visited him on the 8th, he kept asking what day I was coming to visit him. I guess to hold out for it.

I am so grateful that he was able to meet his granddaughter. The one thing I’m really heartbroken about though, is that she will never “know” her grandpa. He was the nicest, most generous man, with an awesome sense of humor and I know she would have had a blast with him. When people think of my dad, they think of him as always laughing and making jokes, and that’s how I choose to remember him and what I hope to convey to my daughter about him. People say my daughter doesn’t really look like me or my husband yet, but I think she has my dad’s smile, and that’s truly a gift. I love you dad. 10/9/1941 - 11/9/2009

At nine months old, my daughter developed very strong stranger/separation anxiety from me. It wasn’t bad when I put her down for naps or bedtime, but it was impossible to deal with if I wanted to hand her off to someone else, like either of her grandmothers (and she liked both grandmothers). If I wasn’t in the room and they held her, she was fine. But if she saw me in the corner of her eye or if I just came home from being out, she would suddenly scream and reach for me, with full tears and pure hysteria. This made it really hard at Thanksgiving because relatives wanted to hold her, but she just wasn’t having any of it. I didn’t feel like dealing with the screaming, so I just held her the entire time..and my girl weighs just about 24 pounds. (This is why I weigh less now than before I was pregnant.)

She still isn’t crawling or pulling herself up, but she can drag herself on her belly, using just her arms. Good thing we have hardwood floors in the entire house. Maybe that’s why she isn’t crawling? Hurts her knees? Who knows. She started to clap, which is so adorable to see. Along with her nursery songs, I like to sing and clap to modern rock/alternative rock songs, and she follows my lead and claps also. Nothing like seeing a 9 month old baby girl with pudgy cheeks clapping to Muse’s “Hysteria” from the Absolution album. Priceless.

I’m still nursing her 4 times a day, and after 9 1/2 months of breastfeeding, my period came back. Lucky me. I was wondering when it was gonna show up again. When I first had my daughter, my intention was to become a Stay-At-Home-Mom (SAHM) for a year, and then look for a job again. Now that she’s almost a year old, I’m not ready to put her into daycare with people I don’t know, and miss all her 1st milestones, especially because she’s a little late with a few. If I had a family member that could watch her all the time, I’d happily go get a job, but I don’t want to leave her with strangers, at least not quite yet. I have to sit down and look at the financial issues also and weigh the costs of daycare,  not working, and paying for private health insurance (which is what I do now). Sometimes I feel like I do want to work again because I miss having the extra money, and I miss having a life. Yes, I’m a mom now, which is a life, but I miss parts of my old life, like feeling successful and productive, and going out with the girls after work for a margarita every now and then. Maybe that day will come again, like when my daughter is older and I don’t have to be home right away, but when that time comes I might have another baby at home by then. -SIGH- Do you ever wish that sometimes someone would just make up your mind for you because making decisions can be so stressful.

When my daughter was 9 months old, I noticed she became more cranky than normal and I couldn’t figure out why. It turns out it was more teeth- #7 & #8. Before they fully broke through, she started to scrape me with them when nursing. OMG..it was horrible, and I got little cut marks from it. To help with that, I switched to the football hold position, and that gave me some relief. She’s so tall though, so it looked really funny trying to fit her legs “behind me” in the rocking chair where I nurse her. I guess the football hold isn’t meant for older, longer babies, but oh well, this worked for now. Another thing I found that helped with her scraping her teeth on me is to hold her head really close into me, so that she doesn’t have room to pull her head back and scrape me- in other words, so that she has a deeper latch onto me. She resisted this and didn’t like me holding her head there, but I’m the mommy. She gave up fighting me after 3 nursing sessions like this, and didn’t scrape me anymore. As for biting, she has tried a few times to bite me lightly, but I said “NO!” really loud and stopped nursing immediately whenever she did it. I noticed that the times she would bite me was at the end of her feeding session, like when she wanted to play around. So the trick is to end your session the moment you can tell they’re not hungry anymore. At nine months I dropped her down to 4 nursing sessions a day, and she was doing well with that schedule.

My baby also started to show a really nasty temper at this age. Even more “diva-ish” than normal. She would get so mad if I took something away from her, if I left the room, if I put her down when she wanted to be held, and especially when I laid her down on the changing table. She would get pissed! Her face would get bright red and she’d scream this mean scream as if saying, “Oh you better not put me down!” I remember when she was a newborn and she loved the changing table. Not anymore. The worst is when I’m trying to change a poopy diaper while she’s having a temper tantrum and she’s trying to roll and turn onto her stomach to avoid me, and meanwhile her flailing legs land in the dirty diaper. Ah, not fun. If she’s having a temper tantrum when I’m holding her or while sitting down by herself, she’ll sometimes arch her back and throw herself backwards, and that’s scary when she’s sitting on the ground by herself because she can hit her head, so I catch her and lay her down before she can slam herself backwards. At night this happens a lot because she’s tired, so when she’s in the tub I have to keep my hand on her back the entire time because she loves to buck back while she’s yelling. I hope this isn’t a prediction of what she’s going to be like as a toddler with the terrible 2’s.

A great milestone for her was starting to stand supported, if I stood her up first. She couldn’t pull herself up to a standing position, or chose not to, so we would stand her up and have her hold onto the couch and she held her weight fine. Her doctor thinks she’s just being lazy and that we should try to entice her to pull herself up. I’ve been using toys, her pacifier, and keys up on the couch to get her to pull herself up, but she gets frustrated and starts to have a temper tantrum when she can’t reach it. I’ll keep trying though.

I still can’t seem to find any relief for her Eczema and Cradle Cap. I use the Aquaphor lotion, but it doesn’t seem to help. If anyone knows of any good lotions/products to use, please let me know. The cradle cap is especially bad, and I do the combing out thing before her bath, but the cycle starts all over once I wash her head. (I do use organic, gentle baby shampoo.) Is there a certain product I should be rubbing into her scalp after the bath? I would love any suggestions. I’ve read that it’s not supposed to last past age 1. I hope so.

My daughter had 2 more teeth cut through at 8 months old, bringing the total to 6. To get her to open her mouth so I can see them all, I like to sing to her while she’s on the diaper changing table (she always sings when I sing and opens her mouth wide while doing it). I tested out Bohemian Rhapsody on her, and she cracked up at the up-tempo part. Probably because I looked & sounded funny doing it since I did all the different pitches and accents. She also finally started to roll from her back to belly, so she could now roll fully around like a steamroller- meaning I had to watch her like a hawk from now on if she was on my bed because she could easily roll off. She once was sitting up on the couch next to me playing with a toy and I leaned in the opposite direction to pick a different toy up from the ground, and when I sat up and turned towards her I saw her leaning forward off the couch about to fall. She did fall. She dropped her toy off the couch and leaned forward to get it and winded up doing a somersault, but her head hit the hardwood floor as she tumbled over. It was slow motion to me and I couldn’t get there fast enough, and the thud is etched into my memory. Then I panicked hoping she’d laugh or something, but instead she did that silent scream with her mouth open, where it’s building and building and she’s turning red and you’re dreading the end result of all that energy. She screamed so loud and my heart truly broke. I became _that_ mom who dropped my child on the head– the one that we all have jokingly accused our own mothers of being at one time or another. “Why can’t I think straight mom? Did you drop me on the head when I was a baby?” Only I actually did let my baby fall on her head! She didn’t cry very long, actually not long at all, and she didn’t get a bump or bruise, but I kept an eye on her the rest of that week to be safe. I really felt horrible. I remember a few years ago my friend told me her baby rolled off the changing table while she turned the other way, but she luckily had a pile of laundry on the floor that he fell into. I hate my hardwood floors.

About 2 weeks after the falling incident, I noticed that my daughter started to tilt her head to the right. It was a constant head tilt and it was especially noticeable when she was sitting in the highchair. At first I thought it was just a preference, and that she just liked to lean to the side of the highchair to be comfortable, but then I noticed that her head was cocked to the side even when she was sitting on the floor with nothing supporting her.  I thought maybe she just slept on it wrong or pulled a muscle. After about 7 days it went away, but then a week after that it came back again, only this time it was REALLY tilted and looked really odd. It was like her right ear was almost touching her right shoulder all the time. We called the doctor to get her looked at, because I figured she must have an ear infection or a muscle pull or something. I also looked online before going, and I read that it could also be Torticollis, which is basically when one side of the neck muscle is tighter than the other, so you have to do physical therapy to help fix it.

We go to the Pediatrician and he says he’s not sure what it is because of how it went away & then came back again, and he called another Pediatrician in to get her opinion also. She said she doesn’t think it’s Torticollis or a muscle pull and they both said we should go to the hospital to have my 8 month old baby get a CAT scan because it could be a brain tumor. A freakin’ what??? I thought this was going to be a quick visit to the doctor to get some ear drops or neck stretching exercises, and now my poor little baby has to get a CAT scan to see if she has a tumor? My husband and I were freaking out, and on top of that, the Dr. said we have to go to this special hospital where they can put her to sleep so they can do the scan. At the children’s hospital the doctor there said he thinks it IS Torticollis, but he’s going to have the scan done anyway since the Pediatrician wants it done. It turns out they didn’t have to put her to sleep for it, which I was very thankful for, so they rolled up all these towels to try to prevent her from moving too much. Halfway through she started screaming and moving, but I guess they got enough of what they needed because they didn’t say anything. We waited for a full hour in the hospital room for the results, but it was worth the wait because they said she’s fine and there were no tumors on her brain. I felt SUCH relief! I think I even cried a little. I still feel horrible that she had to get all that radiation from a CAT scan at such a young age, but I guess the doctors figured that it was worth it. I just hope that it doesn’t affect anything with her in the future.

They determined that it was Torticollis and that she’d probably have to get some physical therapy done to stretch out her neck muscle. My husband and I looked online and found some specific stretches that are supposed to help with the condition, so we did them for about a week. Well, her next doctor’s appointment for her regular 9-month old checkup was a week after that, and by then her neck was fine. In fact, the doctor said that she looked fine and she probably won’t need any therapy. I don’t know if her rolling off the couch caused it, or if it was a mild case of Torticollis that didn’t show up until she was 8 months old, but I’m glad that issue is over with. I was really scared having to bring my baby to the hospital, especially for a CAT scan, but many parents tell me that this is only the first case of many “scares” that come with being a parent.

Once things finally started to slow down a little bit and my baby was actually taking a few naps, I had time to reflect on what was going on around me and in my life. My daughter was almost 7 months old already, I became a stay-at-home mom when she was born, and my past life was history. And I missed it. I had a B.A. and was very successful in college, I finally had a career going at a great company, and I was a concert loving girl who would go out and party with friends at shows throughout most of the North East part of the country…and Ohio once. (I once road-tripped from NJ to Cleveland to see a Live concert, and went back to NJ that same night because I had to go to a housewarming party by 4pm the next day.) I loved the adrenaline I would get from live rock shows and the feeling of truly living life and having fun. Now, I haven’t been to a show since I was around 8 months pregnant, and I miss it. Instead, I sneak in a few moments on the computer where I can catch someone’s YouTube video of clips of a show here and there. I try to pretend I’m there, but it doesn’t really work–especially when my baby starts crying to let me know she’s up from her nap. And -SNAP- back to reality I come. I do love and appreciate my new life, and I’ve also accepted it. It’s just every now and then I’ll hear something about a band or artist I love and then it makes me wish I could just go to a show. The reason I can’t is because I’m breastfeeding so I’m literally connected on a chain to my daughter who wants to eat like every 3 hours. I could pump a few days before and leave a bottle for my husband, but I am not bringing a breast pump to a show for when I get “full” from missing a feeding. I don’t think so. Can you picture me going to a show at Maxwells in Hoboken, NJ or the North Star Bar in Philly and trying to use their single-person bathroom for 20 minutes trying to pump? Oh and then carrying around a bag of breast milk during the show? Now that’s classy. haha. Plus, my husband would freak out if I left him with “the Diva” for that long, and unfortunately no one we know would babysit and stay overnight for it.

Since I can’t go to shows for the time being, I fill that void by singing to my daughter the songs I’d like to hear at a show again. Of course I don’t do them justice, but she doesn’t know that. She laughs and “sings” along with her deep sounding, off-key “ahhhhhhhh.” She always does that every time my husband or I sing. Our little harmonizer. As for milestones, she’s finally starting to sit up on her own a little bit, but we have to do the pillow thing where there’s a sea of pillows 360 degrees around her, for when she falls back or does a face plant. She is no where near crawling yet, but I read that only 50% of babies can crawl at 6 months and by 11 months 90% of babies can crawl, if they do at all. She’s a really big baby (95th percentile in height & weight) so I think she needs a lot more muscle to carry around all that extra weight. The one issue I can’t seem to find a solution for is her eczema and cradle cap. The eczema is really bad behind her knees and it looks painful and red, but the doctor says it’s not bad enough to give her medicine for it yet and to continue using the Eucerin Aquaphor ointment. As for the cradle cap, I keep putting the Aquaphor on her head, combing out the flakes, and washing her hair with gentle shampoo, but it’s still there. I’d love some suggestions if anyone knows of how to combat the cradle cap. I thought cradle cap was only a newborn baby issue, but apparently not since my daughter is just about 7 months old.

To think that about 9 months ago I was at an Ours show dancing and rocking out to “Live Again” and now I’m talking about combing out cradle cap flakes. Times do change, huh?

At 6 months old, my daughter was starting to sleep pretty well at night, for about 5 hours straight (this was good to me). She was going strong with that pattern for about 2 weeks and then she went back to waking up 2 or 3 times at night. I didn’t know why this was happening, but I figured it was just her crazy ways.  Well, one night I distinctly remember her waking up EVERY 20 minutes all through the night. I’d go into her room, give her a pacifier, pat her belly, and she’d calm down and go to sleep. Twenty minutes later she’d be up and screaming again. I thought that maybe her teeth were finally ready to cut through, even though she’s been working on that since she was 3 months old (LOTS of drool; gumming everything). The next day I went out to buy some sort of pain reliever for her, and I had no idea which one to choose. Since I prefer natural things most of the time, I first tried the Humphrey’s Teething Tablets. I was a little confused on how to apply it because it says to dissolve the tablets in water and then apply it to the baby’s gums, but when I mixed it up it wasn’t thick enough to form any sort of paste (and I followed the directions) so it was more like trying to rub water on her gums, and it kept trickling down my hand. My daughter liked the taste, but it didn’t seem to help at all with her pain or crying.

I was really nervous about trying Orajel because I read somewhere about how the numbing sensation can close up a baby’s throat and make them stop breathing. I caved in and bought some Infant Tylenol, and the doctor assured me that I can use it. Well, the next night when she started screaming I gave her some and she instantly fell asleep. It was heaven! Normally I am not a medicine person. In fact I hate taking medicine and almost always refuse it. I barely took any pain meds in the hospital after my C-section and the nurses kept yelling at me to take it, but I didn’t want to because I really wasn’t in any pain, and even if I was, I prefer to work through the pain. BUT, in this case with my daughter, I was saying hallelujah to Tylenol and used it almost every night for a week.

After giving Tylenol to my daughter for a week straight, I felt uneasy about using it so often and took the risk and bought Orajel. To test it I gave her the tiniest little drop ever (to make sure her throat didn’t close up), and she was fine. Well, by week 2 of her crazy screaming teething nights, we were all fed up so she was getting Tylenol AND Orajel. It gave her the peace we all needed, so I was happy about that. Finally, a bottom center tooth popped through and one week later the other bottom center tooth came through. YAY!

Once that “first tooth” fiasco was done with, I really enjoyed my daughter at 6 months old. It was my favorite age so far because she was always laughing and a lot of fun to be around. This is the age when I finally was able to sit back and enjoy motherhood. I even talked with my husband about maybe having a second kid (gasp!). I totally understand now how easily you can forget about how hard it was that first month of having a baby, and how it’s a good thing you forget because some people wouldn’t ever have a second child if they remembered!

Even though I was given the ‘ok’ from the pediatrician to start my daughter on rice cereal at 4 months old, I didn’t start her on it until she was 5 1/2 months old. I didn’t want to rush things and I read a lot of information that said you should actually wait until they’re 6 months old. I knew she was ready because whenever I ate my own cereal in the morning she would stare me down and open & close her mouth like a fish. I’ve heard that the first time you try to give your baby solids, expect it to go bad, so I braced myself for the tight lips, the crying, and the pushing away. Surprisingly, she LOVED it. She gave me a big smile on the very first spoonful, and she ate the entire serving. Finally, something that went nice and easy for me. She’s definitely a good eater, just like her mama. Only instead of cheesecake, chocolate, and ice cream, she likes to dive into sweet potatoes, peas, even prunes. I still haven’t found anything she doesn’t like. Actually, I once tried to give her a spoonful of the jarred Beef & Broth, and she made the biggest grimace ever. I tasted the stuff and I didn’t blame her. It looked and tasted like cat food so I threw it out. She prefers my homemade Turkey Sloppy Joe’s anyway (I have a great recipe btw..if you ever want it just email/leave me a comment).

At the end of 5 months she finally started to roll over from belly to back, to the right. Other kids were rolling in both directions and their parents loved to tell me about it and ask about my daughter’s progress. As a first time mom, it really is hard not to compare your kids to other kids because you want to know what “normal” is, whatever that means, so I did my best to fight the urge. I think my favorite part about 5 months old was that she finally started to sleep longer stretches at night, and I only had to nurse her once through the night, usually around 2:00 a.m. This gave her a 5 hour stretch of sleeping since she usually went to bed at 9:00 p.m., and I’m told that 5 hours is considered “sleeping through the night” (STTN) for a baby. It is amazing what sleep can do for you when you haven’t had it in sooo long.

As for music, my husband and I constantly would make up songs for her. He would write his own songs and play them on the guitar for her, usually acoustic, and I would usually make up little jingles on the spot. She really loved to hear “her” songs, as in the songs we made up that have her name in the song. Whenever she would hear them she’d get really excited and if she was in her bouncy chair she’d start rocking it like crazy. She was now in a period where she was crying less so I didn’t have to resort to singing constantly to calm her, but I still did anyway. I tried out some Jeff Buckley on her for the first time, by starting with “Hallelujah” (of course). She got really quiet and stared at me during most of the song. Then I played “Lover, You Should’ve Come Over” and sang along with it to her (Damn, I love this song). I actually got a smile out of her during it; can you blame her? Haha. Beautiful song. Ah, Jeff. R.I.P. Whenever I would drive anywhere with her I would carefully select a cd to play for her. I usually stuck with softer, “art rock,” but every now and then I’d throw in some Rage Against The Machine. She didn’t seem to react to that either way. I’m curious to see what her music preferences will be as a toddler and if she really will like alternative rock as much as nursery rhymes. I shall have to wait and see.