I had a doctor’s appointment when I was 39 weeks pregnant. The doctor told me I was only dilated 1-2 cms, and he was going to strip my membranes and try to stretch my cervix to jump start labor since he knew I wanted a VBAC (Vaginal Birth after Cesarean)- I had that done with my first daughter, even though it didn’t help start labor then. The doctor this time didn’t make me bleed from stripping my membranes, but it was really uncomfortable and hurt a bit (not bad though). That night I started doing acupressure on myself on key points that are supposed to help induce labor (on the ankle and on the hand). It’s supposed to work within 48 hours. Well, the next evening in the middle of the night I started getting some mild cramping, which is like menstrual cramps. The next morning at 8am I started getting contractions, and as with my first daughter, they were immediately 1.5 minutes apart, but only lasted 20-30 seconds. I wanted to stay home as long as possible, so I didn’t go to the hospital until around 4pm, which is when I couldn’t talk through the contractions any longer.

The hospital told me I was 3-4 cms dilated at that point, and I was a little disappointed because I was hoping to be further along. As the contractions got stronger, in the back of my mind I kept thinking that I hope they don’t cause my c-section uterine scar to rupture. Then the pain got so bad that I forgot all about the chance of rupture and just wanted each contraction to be over with. I eventually couldn’t take it any longer and got the epidural at 6-7 cms dilated. One of the reasons I didn’t want an epidural was because I didn’t want it to lead to another c-section, which is common. But this time it was different: no complications! The baby’s heart rate was good the entire time, I kept dilating, my contractions stayed consistent, and I wasn’t bleeding excessively. Yay! I started to feel contractions again and was worried that my epidural was fading. That was when the nurse said that I reached 10 cms and could start pushing. I had heard from people that even with an epidural you can still feel the pushing and “ring of fire” from the baby being delivered. Luckily, that wasn’t the case for me. The contraction pain actually went away as I was pushing, so I was more than happy to keep pushing. They didn’t have to turn down my epidural because they said my pushing was very effective and I had strong abs. I felt the baby moving down and could feel her head. The entire time I had my ipod going, and the doctor said that the baby was coming so I should pick a song I like for the baby to be born to. haha. I did a few last minute pushes to “Sweet Dreams” by Marilyn Manson and the baby was pushed out to “Anything, Anything” by Dramarama. The total pushing stage was an hour and a half, but it only felt like maybe 15 minutes. The doctor said I did tear in 2 places and stitched me up.

My daughter was covered in vernix and crying loudly, and I was one proud mama. I had a VBAC! I can’t describe the feeling of pushing her out, except that it felt awesome, even though that sounds weird. I was just happy it didn’t hurt. My husband said that it was probably the coolest thing he’s ever seen. She was 8 lbs and 3 oz- a little smaller than my 1st daughter who was 8 lbs, 9 oz (and 2 weeks late).

So, 48 hours after doing the acupressure on myself, I had my baby 3 days before my due date at 11:25 pm- 15.5 hours of labor. It could have been the acupuncture; it could have been the stripping of the membranes/stretching of the cervix; or it could have been just nature. Either way, I was thrilled that I had a successful VBAC and would recommend it to others.

So far this pregnancy is similar to my last pregnancy, which was almost 2 years ago:  I’m 38 weeks pregnant (just about 39 weeks) and I’ve never experienced Braxton Hicks contractions ever, no contractions (with my 1st I didn’t have one contraction until I was in full-on labor), and my cervix is currently sealed up at a zero- sorry if that’s TMI. This worries me because my 1st daughter was 2 weeks late before I kind of broke my own water on accident, causing me to go into labor. I winded up needing a C-section in the end of that whole bloody mess (you can read about that towards the beginning of my blog posts). I’m attempting a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean) this time around because I’m lucky to have a hospital that does them, and I really really want a successful VBAC. However, their rule is that if I’m more than 1 week late, they’ll have to do a C-section because they will not induce for a VBAC (which I agree with 100%).

At my appointment yesterday, the doctor said that he thinks this baby will be big also (my first was 8.9 oz at 2 weeks late), so that worries me a little since the longer I go, the bigger the baby will get. I know their estimates aren’t reliable since they told me my 1st daughter would be a small 7-pounder, but still. The idea of pushing out a 9+ baby with a C-section uterine scar makes me a little nervous, but I think my body can handle it. I’m going to try to go natural with no meds again since that should make the process faster and safer. I just wish I would get some sign of labor- even if it’s just 1 tiny contraction or dilating to 1 or 2 cms. I already exercise a lot and do the other stuff they say to induce naturally. When I know for sure we’re not getting a snowstorm tomorrow (I’ll need my mom to come here to watch my daughter if I go into labor and she’s an hour away) I think I’ll start with the acupressure points. Wish me luck!

Today I am officially 36 weeks pregnant. My due date is January 16th, and I’m starting to get anxious. Actually I’ve been very anxious for the last 2 months. Not the kind of anxious where I can’t wait for it to happen and for me to be home with the new baby. I’m the kind of anxious where I just want to keep her inside until everything in my life is just “perfect” and organized, and then I’ll be ready for her to come. Of course that will never happen, and I can’t be pregnant forever, so I have to face my Type A personality and try to relax a little bit. Last night we finally took down all the size 0-3 months clothes from the attic, and they’re now in the baby’s dresser. We also took down the infant car seats and have to put them in our cars, along with moving my 22-month old’s car seat over. At least I feel like I have a few things accomplished.

With my first daughter (The Diva), I had to have a C-section after getting to 9 cms because they thought I might have had a partial placental abruption. I was bleeding too much and even at only 3 cms my body was heaving everywhere with non-stop contractions, and I’m told it feels equivalent to being at “transition” phase, which you normally don’t get until towards the end. I had my heart set on a natural, no pain medicine birth, but I caved at 7 cms when I couldn’t catch my breath anymore. As I expected it slowed down the progression of the labor, and eventually when I was getting contractions, my daughter’s heart rate wasn’t going up as it should. So all those factors lead to the C-section, which I was very upset about. My recovery was easy and not really painful at all, but it was the fact that I had my heart set on a regular, natural birth that made it so disappointing.

My hospital is one of the few that performs VBACs (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean). They’ve told me that not a lot of people attempt them, but they do them. If a person meets the criteria, then they can attempt a VBAC, but they do have certain rules for safety reasons. One rule is that they don’t induce since the Pitocin medicine gives you stronger contractions than the natural body does, and they don’t want to increase the chance of having your uterus rupture at the C-section scar. Another rule for VBACs is that they don’t let you go more than 41 weeks, and at that point they will do a C-section. In 3 days I have an appointment with the head doctor of the department, so I”m going to ask him all my VBAC questions. I have some weird ones, like should I be afraid to push too hard because of the scar ripping open. I have to admit that I am a little nervous–I don’t want me or my baby to die if my uterus ruptures and they can’t get me into surgery fast enough, but I also don’t want a 2nd C-section. There are also risks involved with 2nd C-sections, but nobody every talks about those. Plus, I have a daughter who will be 2 in February, and I can’t imagine not being able to lift her up for EIGHT weeks, which is the normal recovery time for a C-section. It’s impossible. I have to get her in her high chair, car seat, etc, and I’m home by myself most of the time. I shouldn’t even be really worrying though, because knowing my luck, I’ll be a week late anyway (my daughter was 2-weeks late), and I won’t have the choice of having a VBAC at that point. I’d love to hear if anyone has any successful VBAC stories, and if you did it with or without an epidural. I’m going to try again for no epidural, but I’m not going to be so hard on myself this time if I can’t follow through.

At 6 months old, my daughter was starting to sleep pretty well at night, for about 5 hours straight (this was good to me). She was going strong with that pattern for about 2 weeks and then she went back to waking up 2 or 3 times at night. I didn’t know why this was happening, but I figured it was just her crazy ways.  Well, one night I distinctly remember her waking up EVERY 20 minutes all through the night. I’d go into her room, give her a pacifier, pat her belly, and she’d calm down and go to sleep. Twenty minutes later she’d be up and screaming again. I thought that maybe her teeth were finally ready to cut through, even though she’s been working on that since she was 3 months old (LOTS of drool; gumming everything). The next day I went out to buy some sort of pain reliever for her, and I had no idea which one to choose. Since I prefer natural things most of the time, I first tried the Humphrey’s Teething Tablets. I was a little confused on how to apply it because it says to dissolve the tablets in water and then apply it to the baby’s gums, but when I mixed it up it wasn’t thick enough to form any sort of paste (and I followed the directions) so it was more like trying to rub water on her gums, and it kept trickling down my hand. My daughter liked the taste, but it didn’t seem to help at all with her pain or crying.

I was really nervous about trying Orajel because I read somewhere about how the numbing sensation can close up a baby’s throat and make them stop breathing. I caved in and bought some Infant Tylenol, and the doctor assured me that I can use it. Well, the next night when she started screaming I gave her some and she instantly fell asleep. It was heaven! Normally I am not a medicine person. In fact I hate taking medicine and almost always refuse it. I barely took any pain meds in the hospital after my C-section and the nurses kept yelling at me to take it, but I didn’t want to because I really wasn’t in any pain, and even if I was, I prefer to work through the pain. BUT, in this case with my daughter, I was saying hallelujah to Tylenol and used it almost every night for a week.

After giving Tylenol to my daughter for a week straight, I felt uneasy about using it so often and took the risk and bought Orajel. To test it I gave her the tiniest little drop ever (to make sure her throat didn’t close up), and she was fine. Well, by week 2 of her crazy screaming teething nights, we were all fed up so she was getting Tylenol AND Orajel. It gave her the peace we all needed, so I was happy about that. Finally, a bottom center tooth popped through and one week later the other bottom center tooth came through. YAY!

Once that “first tooth” fiasco was done with, I really enjoyed my daughter at 6 months old. It was my favorite age so far because she was always laughing and a lot of fun to be around. This is the age when I finally was able to sit back and enjoy motherhood. I even talked with my husband about maybe having a second kid (gasp!). I totally understand now how easily you can forget about how hard it was that first month of having a baby, and how it’s a good thing you forget because some people wouldn’t ever have a second child if they remembered!

Throughout my entire pregnancy I used Palmer’s Cocoa Butter Stretch Mark Cream to try to prevent stretch marks. It worked, because to this day I still don’t really know what one looks like. The closest I’ve come to seeing one is on my husband’s bicep. Weird right? He has them right where the bicep meets the armpit. Anyway, after my daughter was born I was psyched and thought I would still be able to wear a bikini since I had no stretch marks and since the C-section scar was too low for anyone to see. I was wrong. Little did I know that even 3 months after she was born I still had that dark vertical line (linea negra) going from above my belly button all the way down to my pelvic area. That line didn’t even show up until I was like 8 months pregnant. (Even now, almost 9 mths after she was born, I still have traces of that line.)  Another pregnancy battle scar I have is from my navel piercing. I had it since I was 18, and from months 7-9 of my pregnancy I wore a maternity piercing that I got at maternitypiercings.com that was really pretty. But during month 10 of my pregnancy I was getting so many ultrasounds that I just took it out because I had to keep removing it anyway. Well, once the baby was born I pretty much forgot to put the belly button ring back in. (I was forgetting to eat, so there was no way I’d remember about my accessories.) Even though I had that piercing for 13 years, it closed up after 3 months. But I didn’t realize it closed at first because it LOOKED like it was still open, with a hole above my navel. So one day when I remembered to finally put the ring in, I tried and realized that it had closed inside and underneath. So now I have a scar there that looks like I have a hole - an ugly brownish hole since the pregnancy also made it turn brown, along with that line. Gross! All that work I put into preventing stretch marks and I got other marks instead. Not cool. I guess I’ll have to wear a Tankini next year.

Around 3-4 months old, my daughter’s colic FINALLY started to chill out a bit. Like I’ve said in earlier posts, without the swing and the 5 S’s I would have collapsed, so they helped a lot with the crying when it would start up, but I was thrilled that it was happening less and less. She was now letting her true personality show though, and it was pretty apparent that she really was a Diva. She has a nasty temper and is very vocal when you take away something she wants or if you don’t meet her immediate need (and she isn’t even in the Terrible 2’s yet!). She still does the banshee scream at the top of her lungs that turns a crowded room silent. But the positive side of this personality is that she’s really excitable, so when she’s happy that same crowded room will also know it. She literally squeals with delight. And she has the machine-gun/dolphin laugh that babies have, and it cracks me up. To sum up her personality, she’s either insanely upset and screaming OR  ridiculously happy.

Right when the colic started to end, she began having early teething symptoms:  drooling, gumming her hands, and crying a lot. Since she’s a really fussy baby, there was no question that she’d be one of those babies who doesn’t handle teething well. The one upside of having a colicky baby is that I was already used to all the crying, so it wasn’t really different for me. I didn’t want to use medications on her yet since she was only 3 months old, so we just stuck it out.

Another issue that was going on simultaneously was naps, or lack thereof. I began to try a very loose schedule with her of when I could expect her to nap in her bouncy seat, but it didn’t really work. She was pretty predictable of when she would get tired, but no matter how tired she was, she’d only nap 30 minutes. Oh, and at night she still was up to eat like every 2 hours. Fun times. Thirty minute naps meant that I had no free time whatsoever, so I still barely had time to cook, eat, or shower. I ran around the house like a mad woman the second she fell asleep, trying to get little things done here and there. According to Dr. Harvey Karp, the author of The Happiest Baby On The Block and founder of the 5 S’s, babies have a “4th trimester” which is actually their first 3 months of life. Now that my daughter was past the 4th trimester, I hoped that the eating, sleeping, & crying thing would work itself out.

So I was at 3 cms and the contractions were coming super fast and super strong. But they were coming so fast that I barely had time to breathe in between them, and this was without inducing medicine. I remember gripping the handles on the bed for dear life during them, and the nurses and doctor kept asking me if I wanted any pain medicine, but I kept saying no. I wanted to do this the natural way. The pain was the worst in my lower back, so I knew right away that my baby was in the posterior, “sunny side up position,” facing towards my belly instead of my back. Until that point, I never understood the whole back labor thing and how women said it was so bad. Well now I understood–it’s not just back pain…it’s like deep spinal pain, like someone pinching your spinal nerves with their fingers, along with the intense cramping pain you feel in your uterus at the same time. The doctor kept checking me and I noticed that she was kind of talking under her breath to the nurses in the room. At that point I suddenly remembered the stuff I learned in Childbirth Prep class, and I asked if I could sit up in the rocking chair instead of on my back in bed. The doctor said that I really shouldn’t. I was a little confused as to why, so when she left I asked the nurse why I couldn’t sit up in the chair. She said that I’m bleeding “a little more than normal.”  Um, ok. About 15 minutes later the contractions were even stronger then before, and this is the point where my labor started to rival scenes from the movie, “The Exorcist.” (Just a warning that if you’re pregnant you may not want to read this. I seriously had the labor & delivery from hell, and I don’t want to scare anyone who’s nervous to begin with. My situation was not normal.)  

I started to feel really nauseous and with each contraction the nauseousness would get really strong. The nurse said that this was a good thing and that it meant my body was getting ready for labor. So she gave me the puke bucket and I vomited. But then the contractions were coming really fast, and at some point my whole body let loose and for each strong contraction I had fluid coming out of every orifice possible (well, maybe not my ears, but everywhere else). Vomit, snot, amniotic fluid, blood, and yes the dreaded one that us women fear more than labor itself: poop. And even though I was always fearful that I may be one of those women who it happened to, when I actually did it I totally didn’t care. I was more focused on trying to breathe because I felt horrible. The nurse said that I was still bleeding a lot with each contraction, so I asked if it was ok if I got up to use the bathroom because I had to go-again. She said I could. So as I’m walking to the bathroom I get a glimpse of what the doctor/nurses were talking about. In my 7 steps to the bathroom I left a huge path of blood–it was like a horror film. All I kept thinking was that in my Childbirth Prep class they said that you don’t actually bleed that much during childbirth. Well then what was going on with me?? That’s when I started to get nervous. And I totally forgot all about the bag I brought with me that had all my “natural birth prep” items in it, like lotion and relaxing pics. I did take my ipod out at one point, but the doctor kept coming in so frequently and I wanted to hear what she was saying, so it was a lost cause. Finally, with all the fluids being lost with every contraction and the intense pain I was in, I gave up and asked for the epidural. I had made it to 6 cms, and I felt really defeated asking for the epi, but I felt drained beyond anything. It took the guy an HOUR to get to my room, which in my mind served me right for caving in and asking for it (yes, I’m actually still bitter about not having the willpower to go natural). I didn’t feel a thing while getting the epidural. And within 10 minutes I was in heaven. No pain whatsoever.

I got to 8 cms and the dr said that the baby’s heartbeat wasn’t going up during my contractions anymore (just staying the same), which is a bad thing. I had also developed a fever. This was exactly why I wanted a natural birth. I knew that the drugs affect the baby negatively. She said that unless I made it to 10 cms within the next hour I would need a C-section for two reasons: 1. She wasn’t sure that the baby could handle the pushing stage because of being stressed, and 2. I was bleeding so heavily that there was a chance I had a partial placental abruption (so THIS is why no one was saying anything earlier. They didn’t want to scare me). I only made it to 9 cms within the next hour so I had to have the C-section. Because of my high fever (104), I was a little out of it during the procedure, but I remember shaking uncontrollably from the chills, and I remember being a little nauseous. I also remember the intense pushing on my belly to get the baby out. The dr asked the anesthesiologist to give me some muscle relaxer because she couldn’t pull the baby out of my “tight ab muscles.” All those sit-ups I did at the gym to help for pushing actually turned against me!! Then I heard “it’s a girl!” and LOUD crying and I was one happy mama.

My baby was beautiful and NOTHING like the scary 4D ultrasound, so I was very thankful about that. 8 pounds, 9 ounces. I wanted to breastfeed right away, but they didn’t want to let me because they were afraid that my high fever was some kind of infection. Finally, they called the pediatrician who said I could breastfeed (I was angry because it was obvious to me that I got the fever from the epidural..I wasn’t sick when I first went to the hospital). The baby latched on right away. I was in recovery for about 4 hours, and then I was finally able to go to a room. I had gone into my labor wanting an all-natural, peaceful experience. I had gotten exactly the opposite, but all that was important to me at that moment was that my baby was healthy and I’m very thankful for that. At the beginning of my pregnancy my hospital was looking for people who wanted to be on the show, “A Baby Story” to have their delivery filmed. Thankfully I didn’t sign up because that would have been one horrific episode!

My husband and I began taking Childbirth Preparation classes, aka Lamaze, which were once a week for 4 weeks. I didn’t know much about what to expect from labor except for pain, so I felt this class was pretty important to educate myself so that I’d be better prepared. On the first day of class they asked how many of us wanted a natural, drug-free, labor- I didn’t raise my hand. I didn’t know what I wanted at the time and that was part of the reason I took the class. The first class involved a lot of physical stuff like stretching and the breathing exercises that you see all the time. They also showed us different labor positions you could do, some of which are better for back pain, to speed up labor, to slow down labor, to turn a baby, etc. The second class was about our expectations about childbirth. We had to play this game, kind of like the Newleywed Game, where you see how you and the baby’s dad’s answers matched up.  One of the questions asked what would be the first song that mom sings to the baby. My husband got this correct- “Dizzy” by Ours. It’s not a baby-related song at all, depressing actually, but the music from it kind of sounds like a lullaby. Another question asked how long mom would be in labor. My husband said Two Hours. The instructors cracked up. Oh, did he have a lot to learn! 

 The class also started to talk about the different medications that are used for pain relief, inductions, and emergencies. THIS was an eye-opening class for me. I had no idea all the side effects that these drugs could cause, and how they can affect the baby during the process. I was especially concerned about the ever-so-popular labor inducing drug, Pitocin, or as I like to call it, “the Devil drug.”  I personally know at least 4 women who have been induced, only to wind up needing a C-section because of the baby’s heart rate dropping from the drug. No thank you. If I could control or prevent the chance of something bad happening to the baby, you bet I would do everything in my power to prevent it. By the time the class was over, I was convinced that I was going to have a Natural Labor. No epidural, no pain relief drugs, just breathing, meditating, focusing, and of course music. My friends laughed at me, my family didn’t understand me, and they both didn’t believe me. I’m a very headstrong person, so the fact that I felt like I was being mocked made me even more determined to have a natural birth. Who are these people to judge me? Who are they to say I can’t take the pain? I have always had a very high pain tolerance. I think it may have happened from years of dealing with severe migraines since I was 14. They would be horrible and I couldn’t open my eyes or walk when I had one, but eventually I got to the point where I hated having to depend on medicine to make me feel better, so I just stopped taking them. It was agonizing, but it made me feel like a stronger person. This is horrible, but I think it made me also start to view people who needed pain medicine as “weak,”  and this now included needing drugs for childbirth. So people laughing in my face and telling me there was no way I could go drug-free during labor pissed me off royally. Game’s on.