So I was at 3 cms and the contractions were coming super fast and super strong. But they were coming so fast that I barely had time to breathe in between them, and this was without inducing medicine. I remember gripping the handles on the bed for dear life during them, and the nurses and doctor kept asking me if I wanted any pain medicine, but I kept saying no. I wanted to do this the natural way. The pain was the worst in my lower back, so I knew right away that my baby was in the posterior, “sunny side up position,” facing towards my belly instead of my back. Until that point, I never understood the whole back labor thing and how women said it was so bad. Well now I understood–it’s not just back pain…it’s like deep spinal pain, like someone pinching your spinal nerves with their fingers, along with the intense cramping pain you feel in your uterus at the same time. The doctor kept checking me and I noticed that she was kind of talking under her breath to the nurses in the room. At that point I suddenly remembered the stuff I learned in Childbirth Prep class, and I asked if I could sit up in the rocking chair instead of on my back in bed. The doctor said that I really shouldn’t. I was a little confused as to why, so when she left I asked the nurse why I couldn’t sit up in the chair. She said that I’m bleeding “a little more than normal.”  Um, ok. About 15 minutes later the contractions were even stronger then before, and this is the point where my labor started to rival scenes from the movie, “The Exorcist.” (Just a warning that if you’re pregnant you may not want to read this. I seriously had the labor & delivery from hell, and I don’t want to scare anyone who’s nervous to begin with. My situation was not normal.)  

I started to feel really nauseous and with each contraction the nauseousness would get really strong. The nurse said that this was a good thing and that it meant my body was getting ready for labor. So she gave me the puke bucket and I vomited. But then the contractions were coming really fast, and at some point my whole body let loose and for each strong contraction I had fluid coming out of every orifice possible (well, maybe not my ears, but everywhere else). Vomit, snot, amniotic fluid, blood, and yes the dreaded one that us women fear more than labor itself: poop. And even though I was always fearful that I may be one of those women who it happened to, when I actually did it I totally didn’t care. I was more focused on trying to breathe because I felt horrible. The nurse said that I was still bleeding a lot with each contraction, so I asked if it was ok if I got up to use the bathroom because I had to go-again. She said I could. So as I’m walking to the bathroom I get a glimpse of what the doctor/nurses were talking about. In my 7 steps to the bathroom I left a huge path of blood–it was like a horror film. All I kept thinking was that in my Childbirth Prep class they said that you don’t actually bleed that much during childbirth. Well then what was going on with me?? That’s when I started to get nervous. And I totally forgot all about the bag I brought with me that had all my “natural birth prep” items in it, like lotion and relaxing pics. I did take my ipod out at one point, but the doctor kept coming in so frequently and I wanted to hear what she was saying, so it was a lost cause. Finally, with all the fluids being lost with every contraction and the intense pain I was in, I gave up and asked for the epidural. I had made it to 6 cms, and I felt really defeated asking for the epi, but I felt drained beyond anything. It took the guy an HOUR to get to my room, which in my mind served me right for caving in and asking for it (yes, I’m actually still bitter about not having the willpower to go natural). I didn’t feel a thing while getting the epidural. And within 10 minutes I was in heaven. No pain whatsoever.

I got to 8 cms and the dr said that the baby’s heartbeat wasn’t going up during my contractions anymore (just staying the same), which is a bad thing. I had also developed a fever. This was exactly why I wanted a natural birth. I knew that the drugs affect the baby negatively. She said that unless I made it to 10 cms within the next hour I would need a C-section for two reasons: 1. She wasn’t sure that the baby could handle the pushing stage because of being stressed, and 2. I was bleeding so heavily that there was a chance I had a partial placental abruption (so THIS is why no one was saying anything earlier. They didn’t want to scare me). I only made it to 9 cms within the next hour so I had to have the C-section. Because of my high fever (104), I was a little out of it during the procedure, but I remember shaking uncontrollably from the chills, and I remember being a little nauseous. I also remember the intense pushing on my belly to get the baby out. The dr asked the anesthesiologist to give me some muscle relaxer because she couldn’t pull the baby out of my “tight ab muscles.” All those sit-ups I did at the gym to help for pushing actually turned against me!! Then I heard “it’s a girl!” and LOUD crying and I was one happy mama.

My baby was beautiful and NOTHING like the scary 4D ultrasound, so I was very thankful about that. 8 pounds, 9 ounces. I wanted to breastfeed right away, but they didn’t want to let me because they were afraid that my high fever was some kind of infection. Finally, they called the pediatrician who said I could breastfeed (I was angry because it was obvious to me that I got the fever from the epidural..I wasn’t sick when I first went to the hospital). The baby latched on right away. I was in recovery for about 4 hours, and then I was finally able to go to a room. I had gone into my labor wanting an all-natural, peaceful experience. I had gotten exactly the opposite, but all that was important to me at that moment was that my baby was healthy and I’m very thankful for that. At the beginning of my pregnancy my hospital was looking for people who wanted to be on the show, “A Baby Story” to have their delivery filmed. Thankfully I didn’t sign up because that would have been one horrific episode!

During my entire pregnancy, I never felt any real contractions. I never even felt the Braxton Hicks contractions where you’re supposed to feel a tightening in the abdomen area. People would tell me that I should be happy about it because they can be uncomfortable, but I took it as a sign that my little one was still far from ready to come out. Even when my due date came, the closest thing I had come to feeling a contraction was a very mild cramping feeling. I barely noticed it though. On my due date at the doctor’s office, the doctor said I was 1-2 cm dilated and about 50% effaced. I was at this measurement for the past 2 weeks prior to this. I knew they would start bringing up induction, but since I’m all about doing things the natural way and I’m anti-Pitocin, I was going to do my best to fight it unless the baby’s condition showed otherwise. I also had another reason I wasn’t ready to be induced just yet: I knew that my due date was wrong by at least 2 weeks. Because of my history with the blocked tubes and HSG, I kept records of everything, including when the deed was done, and I knew that the earliest possible date of conception would be at least 2 weeks after my given due date. The due date they told me was impossible because that would have meant that I got pregnant BEFORE the HSG, but I was infertile at the time with two blocked fallopian tubes. Yet, most of the doctors in the practice I went to didn’t want to hear my “excuses.” Only one doctor there truly listened to me and honored my wishes to postpone induction when I was a week overdue.

Once I was a week overdue, I had to get a Non-Stress Test (NST) and ultrasound about every 3 days to make sure the baby wasn’t stressed and to make sure my amniotic fluid levels were good. The baby did excellent during these tests. Even the doctors who wanted me induced ASAP couldn’t say anything negative after seeing the results and said that the baby did actually seem to be doing great in there still. As a patient I really felt vulnerable and upset because I totally felt like my rights were being violated from being pressured by the doctors to get induced. My baby was doing excellent and I knew that my due date was wrong, so I saw no good reason to push nature just yet. Our culture has become so obsessed with rushing delivery just because of convenience, the mother’s comfort, or charts and time tables. I felt like I needed an advocate or something! So I became my own advocate and literally fought with some of the doctors. One woman said she was scheduling me for an induction for when I was 9 days overdue, but at my next appointment I had a different doctor (the one I like), and he had it changed for me, as long as I agreed to keep getting the non-stress tests. He said that I am in control of my pregnancy and that the decision is mine. He suggested that I not go more than 14 days overdue though, and that I agreed with. I said that 14 days would be my limit, unless the NST’s showed that I needed it earlier. I was still feeling great, still going to the gym, and sleeping well. Why rush something when I was obviously doing fine? I then heard about that documentary that Ricki Lake did, “The Business of Being Born,” which was about the same issues I was having! It made me feel relieved that I wasn’t the only one in America feeling this way.