During my entire pregnancy, I never felt any real contractions. I never even felt the Braxton Hicks contractions where you’re supposed to feel a tightening in the abdomen area. People would tell me that I should be happy about it because they can be uncomfortable, but I took it as a sign that my little one was still far from ready to come out. Even when my due date came, the closest thing I had come to feeling a contraction was a very mild cramping feeling. I barely noticed it though. On my due date at the doctor’s office, the doctor said I was 1-2 cm dilated and about 50% effaced. I was at this measurement for the past 2 weeks prior to this. I knew they would start bringing up induction, but since I’m all about doing things the natural way and I’m anti-Pitocin, I was going to do my best to fight it unless the baby’s condition showed otherwise. I also had another reason I wasn’t ready to be induced just yet: I knew that my due date was wrong by at least 2 weeks. Because of my history with the blocked tubes and HSG, I kept records of everything, including when the deed was done, and I knew that the earliest possible date of conception would be at least 2 weeks after my given due date. The due date they told me was impossible because that would have meant that I got pregnant BEFORE the HSG, but I was infertile at the time with two blocked fallopian tubes. Yet, most of the doctors in the practice I went to didn’t want to hear my “excuses.” Only one doctor there truly listened to me and honored my wishes to postpone induction when I was a week overdue.

Once I was a week overdue, I had to get a Non-Stress Test (NST) and ultrasound about every 3 days to make sure the baby wasn’t stressed and to make sure my amniotic fluid levels were good. The baby did excellent during these tests. Even the doctors who wanted me induced ASAP couldn’t say anything negative after seeing the results and said that the baby did actually seem to be doing great in there still. As a patient I really felt vulnerable and upset because I totally felt like my rights were being violated from being pressured by the doctors to get induced. My baby was doing excellent and I knew that my due date was wrong, so I saw no good reason to push nature just yet. Our culture has become so obsessed with rushing delivery just because of convenience, the mother’s comfort, or charts and time tables. I felt like I needed an advocate or something! So I became my own advocate and literally fought with some of the doctors. One woman said she was scheduling me for an induction for when I was 9 days overdue, but at my next appointment I had a different doctor (the one I like), and he had it changed for me, as long as I agreed to keep getting the non-stress tests. He said that I am in control of my pregnancy and that the decision is mine. He suggested that I not go more than 14 days overdue though, and that I agreed with. I said that 14 days would be my limit, unless the NST’s showed that I needed it earlier. I was still feeling great, still going to the gym, and sleeping well. Why rush something when I was obviously doing fine? I then heard about that documentary that Ricki Lake did, “The Business of Being Born,” which was about the same issues I was having! It made me feel relieved that I wasn’t the only one in America feeling this way.

It was time for my appointment at the fertility specialist to see what they could do about my blocked fallopian tubes. I was nervous, but excited because I read a lot about this specialist and how he does non-surgical clearing of the tubes. Plus, I was going to a concert in Hoboken that night, so I was feeling pretty good. At the appointment they did more tests, blood work, ultrasounds, and he said that when my time of the month came (which was due in a week), I had to come in to get another Hysterosalpingogram (HSG). As I was leaving he said I was sitting in the “lucky chair,” aka the pregnancy chair, so that made me smile. I went to the concert that night and felt awesome. I had good vibes about this doctor, the vocals at the show were amazing, and I had my two best friends with me which put me in even a better mood.

And then the waiting game began. Why is it that when you’re trying to get pregnant you always hope that your time of the month never comes, and when you’re anxiously awaiting for it to come, it takes its sweet old time? I was hoping for it to show up quickly because I wanted to get this HSG and start the process of fixing me. (If this were a movie, I’d totally put in Coldplay’s “Fix You” right here.) I was now 2 weeks overdue, but that didn’t concern me because for the past year my cycle was totally messed up. You see, from using ovulation tests the past 6 months, I discovered that I ovulate late (around Day 20 instead of Day 14) and I even totally skipped a period 2 months before this time.  So I’m thinking, “Great..I’m anxious to try to get pregnant, and my cycle decides to skip another month NOW. Right when I’m trying to get this HSG done. Just wonderful.”  Some of my coworkers were planning on going out for Happy Hour one Friday after work, and I couldn’t wait to go and get hammered because I was so stressed from all the stuff going on. That Friday morning when I was getting ready for work, I thought that since I was planning on drinking a lot, maybe I’ll just take a quick pregnancy test so that I didn’t feel the slightest bit hesitant or guilty for getting wasted (nice, right?). Besides, I had plenty of tests laying around, so I might as well waste one for peace of mind.  So I took the test, jumped into the shower, totally forgot about the test (this happens when you’re used to taking tests just about every month for almost a year), got dressed, and then remembered about the test. I glanced at the test quickly, about to throw it out, and literally gasped out loud, because it was positive!  What the??? I remember thinking HOW is this possible?? I have TWO blocked fallopian tubes!! I was excited and happy, yet also doubtful and wary because the last time I had a positive test telling me I was pregnant, I soon had a miscarriage.

A week later, the specialist confirmed I was pregnant and everything looked good, and said that I could go back to my regular OBGYN because I didn’t need him since he didn’t do anything. I had later found out that the HSG itself can sometimes clear blockages, even if it doesn’t clear during the procedure. I guess for me the tubes cleared a few days later on their own. Or I like to think it was a combo of the HSG, my massages, my music, and my positive thinking. I was ecstatic to find out that I really was pregnant, and one of my first thoughts was how my unborn baby already went to its first concert, even if it was only 3 weeks old at the time.  Hey, they say you’re never too young for music.

Anyway, all those tests came back fine, so it was time for me to have this procedure done called a Hysterosalpingogram (HSG). It’s where they shoot radioactive dye up you and take an x-ray to make sure your uterus and fallopian tubes are clear/normal. From reading online it made it sound like the procedure felt like you were in labor for about 3 minutes or so and some women said it was worse than labor. Fun. To help deal with the pain I brought my mp3 player since nothing relaxes me more than music. So now I’m laying there all ready to go, listening to “Our Final Hymn” from the Neverending White Lights music collaboration, and I’m waiting for this intense pain to begin. All I feel is what can be described as a few seconds of strong menstrual pains. No big deal. The song wasn’t even over and it’s done. I do have a really high pain tolerance, so I’m thrilled about that. The good news was that the HSG didn’t hurt. The bad news was that the results showed that BOTH of my fallopian tubes were blocked. What the??? How did that happen? I wondered if the miscarriage could have caused that, and of course no doctors wanted to answer me on why it happened. All they said was, “here’s your referral to an IVF (in vitro fertilization) specialist; lots of women have successful outcomes with IVF; Good luck!” And I’m thinking Slow Down! Aren’t there other options first? Again, no answers. They said the IVF specialist will have to answer any other questions I had.

I made my appointment with a specialist, which was a month away. For the entire month I researched on how to clear blocked fallopian tubes, which suggested everything from surgery to special massages to relaxation/meditation techniques. Since I truly believe in the mind-body connection, I embraced anything that was affordable and within reason. I got a hot stone massage, and I would do relaxation techniques every night, which normally involved some “Ok Computer,” and various Sarah McLachlan and The Cure playing in the background. Since I couldn’t afford the fancy massage that’s designed to clear your tubes (yes that actually exists for a few thousand bucks), I just massaged my own abdomen in hopes of it doing something. And of course I went to two Ours concerts because nothing makes me happier than their live shows. Even during the show I got a little psycho and tried to visualize my tubes clearing out. I had recently read the book, “The Secret” which basically says that what you visualize will occur. Because of that, I made a “vision board” which is a cork board with inspirational images on it, like babies, pregnant women, etc. I figured it couldn’t hurt!

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