A few days after I found out that my baby was breech, I had my final Childbirth Preparation Class. I felt a little defeated going into the class since I had spent the last 4 weeks psyching myself up for natural childbirth and practicing my Lamaze techniques, squats, etc. Ironically, the beginning of the lesson was about unplanned issues during labor & delivery and how we always have to be ready to “flip our cards” of what we expect or want. They briefly talked about Breech presentations and asked if anyone knew if their baby was currently breech, so I raised my hand. The instructor could tell I was disappointed, and she tried to make me feel better by telling me more about laboring positions that can sometimes help turn the baby during delivery. I didn’t want to stay breech up until delivery though…I was hoping to flip my baby around before that point.

The second half of the class covered the topic that all Middle School and High School students dread most in Health class: the delivery video. Only this was worse because back then you just said to yourself you’re NEVER having kids. Now the issue becomes real and you know you’re indeed having a baby and that everything you see in that video might just happen to you. Yes I did want my delivery to be natural (which was the case for a few women in the video), but what made watching it unbearable wasn’t the look of pain on their faces, or the graphic nature of the video…..it was watching the video WITH my husband. I don’t think I’ve ever been more embarrassed. There were about 10 other couples in the class, and only my husband was the one to squeal like a little girl, gasp loudly, make jerky movements, and physically cover his eyes with his hands. You would have thought we WERE in Middle School. The rest of the class couldn’t stop laughing at him. There was even a point when he kept repeating like a chant, “omg, omg, omg,” and he stood up and paced around his chair! Ah..I remember thinking that if this is foreshadowing to what the big day was going to be like, then I was in trouble. What a good coach, huh?

The time had come for my follow-up appointment at the ultrasound place to get a second look at the baby’s heart, since they couldn’t get good pictures last time due to the baby’s curled up position. I was happy I’d at least get to see another picture of my baby and hopefully get a confirmation that the baby is indeed a girl–especially because everyone said it looked like I was having a boy since I was carrying so small and in front. I have to admit, I looked pretty good pregnant. No one could even tell I was pregnant unless I turned so they could see my profile. I was still hitting the gym 3 times a week, but just doing mild exercises.

I was now 7 1/2 months pregnant, and at the appointment I saw that the baby had grown a lot since the 20 week ultrasound. In fact you couldn’t even see the baby that well anymore because whereas before you could see the entire profile of the baby’s body, now you can only see certain parts of the baby very close up. I asked the tech if the baby still looks like a girl, and she said yes, so that made me feel a lot better since a lot of people got me “girl” clothes. This is the same tech I had for the past 3 visits, and I really like her a lot.  She got the heart pictures she needed, and I asked what certain pictures on the monitor were of, because I sure couldn’t tell (being that they were zoomed in so close). She then zoomed in on the face and switched the machine from 3D to 4D and WOW..there was my baby! It was wild how clear (and freaky) the 4D pictures were. She printed them out for me and told me not to tell anyone since they’re not supposed to use the 4D feature. I know that some people pay big money for 4D ultrasounds, so I thought it was really nice of her to do that for me as a courtesy. When I got a chance to really look at the 4D pictures I got a little nervous. The baby looked weird! The tech explained that shadows occur on the pictures which can distort things, but man, I was getting scared that my baby was going to look like an alien. The nose looked huge, the chin looked too small and almost like the jaw was missing…I was beginning to regret seeing these pictures at all! In the back of my mind I tried to reassure myself that the tech and doctors never said anything about the baby missing her chin or anything, so I guess everything was ok, but I was still a little nervous. Great; another thing that made me feel like a bad mom already: being worried about my baby’s appearance. Isn’t there ever a time when a woman can just relax during pregnancy and not be paranoid about something?

The biggest shock of all during the ultrasound was when the tech told me that the baby was currently in a breech position. Even though she was head down (vertex) about 10 weeks earlier, she was now breech. She said not to worry since there is still time for her to turn, but that I may want to consider different delivery options with my doctor. Oh no, add another thing to worry about during this pregnancy. To make matters worse, I had just sealed in my mind that I was going to have an all-natural labor. If the baby didn’t turn by my delivery, I would have to have a C-section, which I did NOT want. It was time to do what I do best: research like crazy for answers and try to turn this baby around!

My husband and I began taking Childbirth Preparation classes, aka Lamaze, which were once a week for 4 weeks. I didn’t know much about what to expect from labor except for pain, so I felt this class was pretty important to educate myself so that I’d be better prepared. On the first day of class they asked how many of us wanted a natural, drug-free, labor- I didn’t raise my hand. I didn’t know what I wanted at the time and that was part of the reason I took the class. The first class involved a lot of physical stuff like stretching and the breathing exercises that you see all the time. They also showed us different labor positions you could do, some of which are better for back pain, to speed up labor, to slow down labor, to turn a baby, etc. The second class was about our expectations about childbirth. We had to play this game, kind of like the Newleywed Game, where you see how you and the baby’s dad’s answers matched up.  One of the questions asked what would be the first song that mom sings to the baby. My husband got this correct- “Dizzy” by Ours. It’s not a baby-related song at all, depressing actually, but the music from it kind of sounds like a lullaby. Another question asked how long mom would be in labor. My husband said Two Hours. The instructors cracked up. Oh, did he have a lot to learn! 

 The class also started to talk about the different medications that are used for pain relief, inductions, and emergencies. THIS was an eye-opening class for me. I had no idea all the side effects that these drugs could cause, and how they can affect the baby during the process. I was especially concerned about the ever-so-popular labor inducing drug, Pitocin, or as I like to call it, “the Devil drug.”  I personally know at least 4 women who have been induced, only to wind up needing a C-section because of the baby’s heart rate dropping from the drug. No thank you. If I could control or prevent the chance of something bad happening to the baby, you bet I would do everything in my power to prevent it. By the time the class was over, I was convinced that I was going to have a Natural Labor. No epidural, no pain relief drugs, just breathing, meditating, focusing, and of course music. My friends laughed at me, my family didn’t understand me, and they both didn’t believe me. I’m a very headstrong person, so the fact that I felt like I was being mocked made me even more determined to have a natural birth. Who are these people to judge me? Who are they to say I can’t take the pain? I have always had a very high pain tolerance. I think it may have happened from years of dealing with severe migraines since I was 14. They would be horrible and I couldn’t open my eyes or walk when I had one, but eventually I got to the point where I hated having to depend on medicine to make me feel better, so I just stopped taking them. It was agonizing, but it made me feel like a stronger person. This is horrible, but I think it made me also start to view people who needed pain medicine as “weak,”  and this now included needing drugs for childbirth. So people laughing in my face and telling me there was no way I could go drug-free during labor pissed me off royally. Game’s on.