Anyway, all those tests came back fine, so it was time for me to have this procedure done called a Hysterosalpingogram (HSG). It’s where they shoot radioactive dye up you and take an x-ray to make sure your uterus and fallopian tubes are clear/normal. From reading online it made it sound like the procedure felt like you were in labor for about 3 minutes or so and some women said it was worse than labor. Fun. To help deal with the pain I brought my mp3 player since nothing relaxes me more than music. So now I’m laying there all ready to go, listening to “Our Final Hymn” from the Neverending White Lights music collaboration, and I’m waiting for this intense pain to begin. All I feel is what can be described as a few seconds of strong menstrual pains. No big deal. The song wasn’t even over and it’s done. I do have a really high pain tolerance, so I’m thrilled about that. The good news was that the HSG didn’t hurt. The bad news was that the results showed that BOTH of my fallopian tubes were blocked. What the??? How did that happen? I wondered if the miscarriage could have caused that, and of course no doctors wanted to answer me on why it happened. All they said was, “here’s your referral to an IVF (in vitro fertilization) specialist; lots of women have successful outcomes with IVF; Good luck!” And I’m thinking Slow Down! Aren’t there other options first? Again, no answers. They said the IVF specialist will have to answer any other questions I had.

I made my appointment with a specialist, which was a month away. For the entire month I researched on how to clear blocked fallopian tubes, which suggested everything from surgery to special massages to relaxation/meditation techniques. Since I truly believe in the mind-body connection, I embraced anything that was affordable and within reason. I got a hot stone massage, and I would do relaxation techniques every night, which normally involved some “Ok Computer,” and various Sarah McLachlan and The Cure playing in the background. Since I couldn’t afford the fancy massage that’s designed to clear your tubes (yes that actually exists for a few thousand bucks), I just massaged my own abdomen in hopes of it doing something. And of course I went to two Ours concerts because nothing makes me happier than their live shows. Even during the show I got a little psycho and tried to visualize my tubes clearing out. I had recently read the book, “The Secret” which basically says that what you visualize will occur. Because of that, I made a “vision board” which is a cork board with inspirational images on it, like babies, pregnant women, etc. I figured it couldn’t hurt!

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